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oh please. there is no mystery or taboo as to why black women relax their hair. 'cause it's friggin inconvenient any other way. that's my reason, at least. and it's not about something deep or meaningful or symbolic...it's 'cause i don;t have time but once every three months to give a damn about it.

I am a white guy. I can't comment too much on the value of all the work it takes to get a natural look or perm, braids or whatever style a lady prefers. I had my hair cut off to 1/4 inch, because I didn't want to mess with it during the summer. When I had a black girlfriend, it seemed to take her so much time to do her braids, and maintain it. I did hate picking up those little black rubber bands all over the house <g>. The braids lasted about three weeks, and then she got a weave. I really liked the feel and scent of her natural hair between the do's, but she said whenb I touched it, I just made it knappy. A person should balance the expense, time and personnal preferences and be happy!

I permed my hair since age age 18, but in the last few years, I became an avid swimmer, started SCUBA diving and add working out to the equation, permed hair just can't take that kind of stress. It was my hobbies or my hair, I chose my hobbies and active lifestyle.

I wear braids now and in between, I may only lightly texturize. The in-between times are hard and I am sometimes tempted to relax for managability. But I am beginning to fall in love with this strong hair that doesn't break when you pull on it anymore.

It is interesting how my self-image has changed too. As a fair-complexioned BW, I think I get even more pressure dumped on me to "look" white, especially in corporate circles, it was very hard to make the decision to wear braids.

But now, I think I look more beautiful and relaxed and happy then I ever did with my stupid, super straight hair. I just think the braids add contrast and interest to my face. I can certainly put in the 8 hour sit every 2 months for the low amount of maintenance required. I just wish my natural hair would hurry and grow all the way out as I am having some problems with breakage where the new and stronger hair meets the relaxed, weak hair.

I wear my hair naturally and have been wearing it that way for 1 year. I find that when my hair is natural, I'm able to accomplish more styles with it. When my hair was relaxed it broke off uncontrollably and it was basically too thin and straight to achieve any kind of hair style.

I'm a strong advocate for natural hair, but I 'll try to refrain from preaching LOL! I'll simply suggest that all black women interested in going natural and even those not interested read "Let's Talk Hair" by Pamela Ferrell. I have no doubt that that book will definitely motivate you to go natural.

Besides having more versatility and basically more hair, I love wearing my hair naturally because its a sign that I'm comfortable with my blackness. I know some people may not agree with me, but that's just my personal feeling.

I also take comfort in knowing that my body is more healthy because of my choice to go natural. I'm not allowing any cancer causing chemicals to be soaked into my blood stream. I've noticed that my skin dramatically improved when I stopped using chemicals as well as my scalp. I simply don't understand how I allowed my beautician to put somthing so strong and dangerous onto my scalp. If she had to wear gloves to apply it, then that should have given me a big sign right there. I also hated being a slave to my hairstylist, paying 100 bucks or more a month for touch ups.

I love the freedom that my natural hair has given me. I don't have to worry about getting caught in the rain or the humidity. I also love to swim and now I can dive in without hesitation.

Fear was another reason that motivated me to go natural. I read somewhere that when autopsies are performed on black women, morticians notice that most of them have a white creamy coating around their brains. Scary!!! It wasn't just the relaxers that scared me but the weaves and the braids too. So many of my friends have suffered from traction alopecia due to their braids and weaves being so tight. Their hair follicles were destroyed and some are now permanently bald.

I think that weaves and fake hair have been associated with black women so much because of the confusion we have when it comes to our hair. Society has fed us so much crap, making us believe that there is something wrong with our hair and therefore implying that it needs to be "fixed." I personally believe that God didn't make any mistakes when he made black women and that includes our hair . We've been taught to veiw kinky or nappy hair as bad, and straight, strigny hair as good.
The weaves and fake hair are also probably a result of black women needing extra assistance in filling out their manes due to the abuse we've put our own natural hair through.

We as black women have also been tricked and taken advantage of. Not too long ago I discovered that most of the commercial products out there designed for black hair contain some of the most harmful ingredients. Out of all the hair products on the market, black hair care products contain the largest amount of chemicals and harsh ingredients, that ironically harm our hair more than help it. A coincidence? I don't think so. For so long we've been looking at labels with red, green and black colors on them thinking that they're the right products for our hair, not even realizing that we should have been reading the ingredients.The black hair care market, which is basically monopolized by white people, has made so much money off of black women, its sad.

Mindkandy, I agree with everything you've said. It is possible for our hair to grow long, if we give it the proper aid.

By the way, shea butter is fantastic! It makes my hair so soft and manageable and gives the curls definition. Olive, jojoba, and castor oil also work wonders on my hair.

If anyone is looking for all natural hair products , I reccommend Ebene naturals and Carols Daughter.
For support, I've found the website nappyhair.com to be the best. I love their message boards. I can read posts and talk to black women who have gone through or who are going through the natural hair journey.

Obviously going natural will not be easy for all black women and making that decision will be hard. But in the long run I think it may benefit us more than we realize. Hopefully, sooner or later all black women will decide to give their natural hair a try and have the courage to accept themselves as they are. Like I say, "why defeat our hair, when we could simply learn how to work with it."

For any who live in the Los Angeles area or will be visiting there any time soon, there is a great exhibit at the Museum of African American History going on right now. It was basically about hair. It depicted different styles and the significance of some of the syles. What hair can say about you social or class standing or political views. It was all very interesting. It wasn't only about African Americans but about different African ethnic groups. I recommend it to anybody in the area.

I love the look of neat dreads--and you talk about dispelling the myth that black hair doesn't grow? I saw Lauren Hills dreads while watching a bob marley family reunion concert this weekend....I heard Erykah Badu's dreads were extensions (b4 she shaved her head) --wonder if that s true...

I have a theory. Now it may be a stupid theory but it is mine. Tell me if I am stupid. Since Europe is colder than West Africa. People's hair evolved long and straight or maybe a little wavy so it would wrap around the head and keep it warm. Their hair grew faster because of the weather also. West African hair was extremely curly so it would mass on the top of the person’s head and protect them from the sun. And it would catch pockets of air that would help the head stay cool. The necessity for it to grow as fast as European hair was not there. Does that make sense or am I full of it?

Also I grew up in a family of blondes, natural blondes. I don't find blond hair that interesting. That is why I married a brown haired olive skinned woman. Blond is in but I don't understand it.

Lyle